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doctor who

Thirteen – Crime and the Forces of Evil



Hey, the new song is up! There are actually several new songs in the pipeline but this is the one that’s finished right now. It’s called “Thirteen,” and it’s a free download, though you can always hit the tip jar if you like it.

I made it for Conflikt, where I was MCing as Toastmuppet this past weekend. It’s a filk convention – geek music goes back a while, this is a geek folk music (“filk”) con – so of course I made them some geek folk metal, a semi-cover of the Vixy & Tony track “Thirteen.”

Their original isn’t about Doctor Who contemplating his own mortality after running out of regenerations, though. That’s just my version. I was all, “What’s the filkiest thing I can do for this con? Oh, I know, take a well-known filk track and make it even geekier by making it about the Doctor.”

Their original is here, if you want a listen. It’s quite different.

More on Conflikt tomorrow. I shot parts of the con with a fisheye-lens film camera. YEAH I SAID FILM IT IS HILARIOUS I HAD TO STEAL IT FROM THE PRESIDENT ORDER IT FROM JAPAN. I also said fisheye, because the camera was a gift and it has a fisheye lens and you can’t turn it off. FULL-THROTTLE FISHINESS BEGINS TOMORROW!

Assuming the film comes out. I don’t even know. I sure hope it does, I’m not joking about it being imported from the home islands. It’s the last place you can buy ISO 1600 colour film as far as I know.

Okay that’s enough words. LESS TALK MORE FILK!

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come check out our music at:
Bandcamp (full album streaming) | Videos | iTunes | Amazon | CD Baby

I finally set up a Soundcloud account, and put this on it. 😀 (Also Kaiju Meat. I should probably put all my most fandom-related songs on it.)

Thirteen – Crime and the Forces of Evil


hey look, this happened

real post tomorrow, too sleepy atm, just got back from con

enjoy music about the thirteenth doctor contemplating his own mortality (even if that was topical for like six weeks THANKS MOFFAT)

Confrontation – theadventureeffect


theadventureeffect sings their Doctor Who “Confrontation” parody to John Barrowman at SDCC

(Also, our YouTube channel is now live!)

Goodnight, Sarah-Jane – Talis Kimberly

In memory of Lis Sladen, who played Sarah Jane Smith in Doctor Who and The Sarah Jane Adventures.

If you buy a download through bandcamp, Talis is donating the proceeds to cancer research.

The Last Centurion’s Song – Will Sturman

I got left alone in a recording studio last week, so I thought I’d do a recording of the Doctor Who song thebastardofgloucester and scribefindegil wrote, to the tune of Leslie Fish’s “Roman Centurion’s Song.”  Because it’s great and I want people to hear it.

Lyrics and a link to the original song here


So I wrote a Hey There Delilah filk for Doctor Who, and this awesome, awesome guy did a cover of it for me because he can sing and I cannot.

So please go give him love. 


Hey there Rose Tyler, what’s it like with Doctor Two?
I’m on adventures with the Ponds,
But, girl, you know I’m missing you; you know I do.
No stars can shine as bright as you.
I swear it’s true.

Hey Martha Jones, I hope you’re happy with your Mickey.
Promise I’ll come visit you as soon as we fix this doohickey 
That we’re in. I know you’re happy now with him.
Sounds like you win.

Oh, it’s how you all left me,
Oh, and left me so lonely.
Oh, but now you’re all so free,
Oh, you deserve to be happy.
You can’t have been with me.

Hey Donna Noble, I did everything I could,
You know that forgetting my face, well, it was all for your own good.
This was for you. Everything I did was all for you.
My word is true.

Hey there Jack Harkness, there was much I meant to say.
Never meant to leave you back there, 
And if you forgive me then one day, I’ll come for you.
I never meant to be so cruel, leave you so blue.

Oh, it’s how you all left me,
Oh, and left me so lonely.
Oh, but now you’re all so free,
Oh, you deserve to be happy.
You can’t have been with me.

And now hope is like a distant star,
But this blue box can go so far,
And I’d die for you if I had no other way.
I’ve never felt this old before, 
My soul is worn, my hearts are sore,
And it’s because of you I feel this way.

Companions, I can promise you
That by the time my life is through,
The universe will never be the same.
Guess I’m to blame.

Hey there Amelia, 
Now it’s over, please don’t miss me.
You have Rory here who loves you,
And I’ll be off and changing history, like I do.

You know I did it all for you.
You can do whatever you want to.
Hey there Amelia, here’s to you.
It’s all for you.

Oh, it’s how you all left me,
Oh, and left me so lonely.
Oh, but now you’re all so free,
Oh, you deserve to be happy.
You can’t have been with me.

Bittersweet – Rosie Lord


My second most popular song so far! Not a great recording, but I’m getting a real microphone in a bit so there’s that. I might re-record it in a bit, we’ll see.

My tribute to the fabulous River Song of “Doctor Who” fame. Hope y’all like it!


You met me for the first time on the day I died
you didn’t really know me and still you cried
Didn’t see that I was bigger on the inside
Not the best of empathy and yet I’ll let it slide.

People know you as the man who saves them everytime
but I know that you’re the one who’ll never not be mine.
I’m as eloquent as ever yet you’ll never rhyme
I’m as punctual as always and you’re never quite on time.

I was born in your own danger and the shadow that you cast
You treat me like a dagger ‘cause we can’t forget the past
I’m a knife you’ll never use, I’m the train that passed
But I’d turn around for you because I know you’d never last.

Don’t patronize me, madman, and don’t fly away
Don’t try to hide the kiss in every word you say
And don’t pretend that this is just a game you play
and don’t tell me you’re leaving when I know you’re gonna stay.

So tell me, did I really go wrong
if the Melody has died before the Song?
Don’t act like you don’t want me, you don’t love me, you don’t need me
I see the way you run to “Hello, Sweetie.”
It’s bittersweet.

I spend my days in waiting for your distant call
but don’t think that I’m desperate, for I’m not at all.
I bide my time with writing down what’s not yet been
Trips you never went on, sights you haven’t seen.

I’m twisted in your timeline like a harmony
dissonant, but never a cacophony.
Why insist on running? You’re already free.
You’ll just run in circles, they all start with me.

You saw me born and born again before too long.
A broken Melody became a River’s Song.
Don’t tell me that I’m perfect, that perfect’s close or even near me
If it was, you wouldn’t run to “Hello, Sweetie.”
It’s bittersweet.

I started in your home and it is there I’ll die
You taught me how to land but I taught you to fly.
Born for death and lived for life, and died to try
And I’m sorry, my love, this is the last goodbye.

The Last Centurion (Rory’s Song)


As promised, here is the filk created by my friend Araxie and I (though mostly by her), a pair of hopelessly obsessed Whovians united in our unabashed adoration of Rory (Roranicus Pondicus) Williams/Pond.  

It is based upon the Rudyard Kipling poem The Roman Centurion Song. It has since been set to music by self-professed anarchist, alto, and filk icon Leslie Fish.


The Last Centurion’s Song

Doctor, you bid me come with you, and let her lie. What then?

She’ll wait for you two thousand years, while you cheat time again.

You always run, you always fly, you take no time to grieve.

If she must stay, then so will I. You cannot make me leave.


The universe has come undone, the stars no longer shine.

Now hasten on to patch the cracks, but leave both me and mine.

The future calls as time runs out, a world that you must mend,

So leave me now, but I’ve no doubt I’ll see you at the end.


I know that you must think me mad, and you may yet be right

As I slog on through endless days and sleepless starless nights.

Yet I will stay to keep her safe. I choose to bear this load.

To find my place in time and space, I take the winding road.


I wait for her in hope that I in waiting may atone

Not plastic now, but mine again, a man of flesh and bone.

She thought me human, and she died—cut down by my own hand.

In love and penance I’ll abide on time’s unwinding strand.


I’ll take the steady, slower path through heavy years and long.

I’ll watch Rome fall and Britain rise, and still I will press on.

The past is gone, the future dark, the present is a blur

The world grows cold, and life grows stark, yet I’ll remain with her.


Let me stay here, for Amy’s sake, as long as I have will,

Until I fail, or die, or break, or fall to greater skill,

I’ll fight both Cyberman and Pict, and all who dare to creep

From earth or sky or monster’s crypt to wake my love from sleep.


Doctor, I care not for your fears. You tell me I must go,

That she won’t feel the passing years, that I am doomed—I know.

She is my heart, my soul, my mind—the only love I’ve known.

You go, but I will stay behind so she won’t be alone.

Fish’s recording can be found (and downloaded! Legally!) here

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