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Yeah, Filk!

For space is wide and good friends are too few

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SUBMISSION

from the album Sloppy Seconds
To the tune of “Bang Away, Lulu”

Lyrics

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Saber is a Slytherin
She loves silver and green
She’s good at speaking Parseltongue
If you know what I mean

Our Saber’s quite a kinkster
They know her far and wide
She said to Westley,
“As you wish,“
Now she’s the Princess Bride!

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Rouge, she loves the Dresden
His books she does applaud
And if she ever met him
She’d ride his blasting rod!

Our Rouge once screwed some Trekkies
The answer to their prayers
She likes it rough, and now they know
Why Riker straddles chairs!

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Lucky loves Tom Hiddleston
He gives her all the feels
She thinks she’d get the best of him, but
In the end she always kneels!

Our Lucky makes cosplayers blush
With her sweet affections
Don’t flirt with her in spandex, boys;
It don’t hide erections! (That’s true!)

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Flint “bangs” a bit differently
She brought her gun to con
Shot off The Doctor’s stetson
While dressed up as River Song

Our Flint she once met Link, they say,
She made that hero drool
But then she left him in her dust
And went to save Hyrule!

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Bang Away, Maidens, by Misbehavin’ Maidens

from the album Sloppy Seconds

“I wanna make out with you at cons
Don’t wanna be your girlfriend, don’t wanna date
Just wanna make out with you when it’s convenient
When we’re cosplaying”

I Wanna Make Out With You at Cons, by Misbehavin’ Maidens

from the album “Sloppy Seconds”

Traditional, rewritten by Caroline Boulden

lyrics

If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to take a picture, they’re a person, not a fixture,
If you want to take a picture, get consent

If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, and don’t want to cause them dismay,
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent

If you want a big embrace, get consent
If you want a big embrace, get consent
If you want a big embrace, there’s a way to close the space,
If you want a big embrace, get consent

And if they still say no, back away
If they still say no, that’s ok
If they decline your advance, it’s their body, not your chance
If they still say no, just GO AWAY

CONsent, by Misbehavin’ Maidens

Rocket Robin Hood

From Eva Baskins:

Since this is a show theme song, I’m not sure if it counts, but… Rocket Robin Hood! This feels like something that could have a filk following, just because the concept opens up so many questions! (I’ll admit, I’ve never actually watched it, and I only just now found out the thing existed.)

 

…can’t say I’ve ever heard of it either, but MAN what a concept.  And now if I had to explain filk to someone without using any actual filk music…I might just show them this.

Since we seem to be on a Kipling kick lately:

The Four Angels Lyrics: Rudyard Kipling, 1905

Music: Mark Horning, 2005

Recorded live in Concert at CopperCon 34

The Four Angels

via @rocket-song-acoustic: Kipling and 12-string guitar.  For some reason I can’t play this one without thinking of Seanan’s Toby Daye series.

“The Fairies’ Siege,” words by Rudyard Kipling, music and performance by Mark Horning
The Fairies Siege

We used to sail to R’lyeh; that’s where we put ashore
We used to sail to R’lyeh; we did but we don’t anymore
A lass there wanted an Elder Thing; we had some of those on board
Cthulu, she wanted? A Deep One she got!
That’s why we don’t sail there no more…

Check out the Misbehavin’ Maidens on Bandcamp

Support the Misbehavin’ Maidens’ 2nd album Kickstarter through Feb. 2, 2017

Don’t Sail There No More

Legacy of Legends – Mark Horning

“Legacy of Legends,” by Mark Horning, written in memorial for Gene Cernan who passed away on Monday 16 January, 2017.  The last man on the moon is with us no more.

Another year goes by,
Another hero fades away.
Another Living Legend,
From a brighter future day…
–When hope rose up on flaming wing
–And dreams were forged of steel
–And the men who strode the heavens
–Were very, very, real…

SFDebris is always wonderful, but yesterday he excelled himself with a parody of the Ballad of the Green Beret at the end of his Watergate (Stargate SG-1) review. Jump to 13:35 in the video.

The Ballad of the Red Jersey

The Beatles has been a popular source for Swedish filk songs. Back in the early 70s the fan Bertil Mårtensson had grandiose plans on filking all of the songs on The White Album, and a few of the songs were later recorded into an ish of his cassette fanzine OGRE. Other fans, like Jan Risheden and Erik Andersson, later filked other Beatles songs during the 80s. Often this was done by the practice of translating the English text into nonsensical or absurd Swedish, mixing word-for-word translations with translations based on sound similarities and straight up nonsense.

(This practice is popular in Sweden outside fandom as well, but the results are seldom written down or documented, and often only relates to fragments of the songs.)

But it is Staffan Mossige-Norheim who arguably has made the most ambitious translation-filking of a Beatles song in Swedish fandom. Staffan was one of the few Swedish fen who can be said to have been primarily a filker in their fanac, and his Mademoiselle is both a quite decent (but with a twist!) translation of “Twist and Shout” and a reimaging of the song in baroque style.

Staffan is presented more closely by Wolf von Witting in CounterClock #17, which he wrote the soundtrack for. Staffan has also quite a few of his songs and compositions on Soundcloud.

Mademoiselle (Twist and shout, baroque style)

Polska från stjärnorna – Mattias Frisk

Our dear faned wanted to know more about space polskas, so here is “Polska från stjärnorna” (“Polska from the stars”), taking the main Star Wars theme and the Imperial March, mashing them together, and then arranging them in the style of a Swedish polska tune.

Technically, this isn’t really filk, since the performer Mattias Frisk likely never has been involved of filk or science fiction fandom, but it very much is music-making in a filk mode.

Jag vill bo i rymden

“Jag vill bo i rymden”, a filk song that appeared right when Sweden left the chaotic and feuding fhaaandom of the 80’s behind itself and became extremely serconnish (and abandoned filk). Instead, it became a classic in some Swedish student circles. Its origin as a filk song was rediscovered after 25 years. Original text and music by Martin Q Larson, who later went on to become the president of the Society of Swedish Composers. Here is a (for some values of) singable English translation/version:

My mother often asks me like this:
What will you do when you grow up?
How do you plan to support yourself,
you’re playing all the time!

But then I always answer like this:
I’m really training hard you know,
I’m going to be an astronaut
fly space craft all the time!

Space craft space craft space craft
I wanna fly a space craft
Travel in a space rocket
Discover another planet
Space craft space craft space craft
I wanna fly a space craft
Shoot with little laser guns
Visit some big black holes!

I’m flying among the asteroids
and hunting the evil villains
then I build myself a star rocket
and go to a new galaxy

Space craft space craft space craft…

And if a space monster appears
then I will shoot it to pieces
so I’m saving the universe
becomin’ ev’ryone’s friend

Space craft space craft space craft… :||:

A German translation was done in the 90’s (“Welt Raum Welt Raum Welt Raum” in the chorus), but it has sadly been lost in the vastness of space.

The introduction is “an old polska from space” (polska is a traditional Swedish style of dances and music in ¾ beat).

(mod note: the original video link was giving me issues, so I got a new one from youtube, so…I hope it’s the same.  Oh, and for people like me who are basically children and don’t speak Old Fannish, “serconnish” means serious, but in a way that can imply either brilliant fan literary criticism, or like…weaboo serious.)

The filk song of Swedish fandom, “Pappersframmatningen är trasig” written by David Nessle (ttto “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head”) and performed by Erik Andersson in a recording from 1980.

Rough translation:

The paper feed is broken
The papers are squished into small small balls
Oh, the fanzine will come out too late
(Cause) the paper feed is broken, so broken

The subscribers will be angry
If the fanzine isn’t out by Friday
Oh, then I will get lots of hate mail
(Cause) the paper feed is broken, so broken

That I don’t know how I
Can get the fanzine out on time
Before it gets far too late
Cause my mimeo is far too weak

The paper feed is broken
The papers are squished into small small balls
Oh, the fanzine will come out too late
(Cause) the paper feed is broken, so broken
That I cannot stand it no more
I think I want to gafiate

(mod note: this is the best day of my life, also I’m a little ashamed I had no idea what “gafiate” meant and thought it might have been mistranslated)

The Paper Feed Is Broken

Four Stars – Mark Horning

The news has been full of reports lately that 80% of North Americans can no longer see the Milky Way due to light pollution.  Can. not. even. SEE. the. MILKY. WAY!  So, while this is a couple years old, it’s still depressingly on topic:

She grew up in the city. It’s the only life she knows,
Surrounded by glass buildings, and the neon city’s glow.
And the only stars she’s ever seen were on the picture show…

Concert Set from BayCon 2016 – Mark Horning

Concert Set from BayCon 2016

Vocals and Guitar: Mark E. Horning.
Videography: Christine Tillman
Soundboard: Kristoph Klover

Roll On Sojoner © Mark Horning
Modern Myths © Mark Horning
Undiscovered Country © Mark Horning
Dreams of Dragons © Mark Horning
Last © Mark Horning
Bound…no More © Mark Horning
It Doesn’t Matter Anymore © Larry Warner

The theme for the 2016 BayCon was “It’s all about Space”

(since I’ll be updating even more sporadically than usual, how about a whole concert?)

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