hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy

scribefindegil:

animatedamerican:
What was the very first filk song you wrote about?

scribefindegil:

oooh! I was writing songs since I was very small and they were all about fantasy things (exception: the time my fourth-grade class wrote and performed a musical about whales in which I played a marine biologist/detective) because everything in my life was about fantasy things.
But the first actual filk I wrote was a collab with one of my best friends from college. It was written to the tune of “I Ain’t Marching Anymore” and was called “I Ain’t A Martian Anymore.” I should see if I can dig up the words.
I think that she came up with the title, and then I suggested the line “Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun,” and then we wrote verses back and forth to each other over the summer and on each other’s whiteboards when we got back to school. It was a very fun process!
(bonus minor collaborators were my dad for insisting I find a way to rhyme “vortex” with “cerebral cortex” and @thebastardofgloucester for knowing board games they play in the Star Wars universe)

… i have a MIGHTY NEED  to see these lyrics

Okay, here we are. Turns out I still have the whole thing memorized even though I need to go look up that Star Wars board game every time.
I Ain’t A Martian Anymore
You’ve heard of those Ferengi with their acquisition rules
Their plotting and their scheming and their lore
They take all that they need, they have no law but greed
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!
And you’ve doubtless met those green men in their funny little ships
Drawing circles in your fields of corn
Every day is an occasion for an alien invasion
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!
For it’s red planet’s children that always go to war
Red planet’s children who fall
Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun
And tell me was it worth it all?
I’ve had my share of combat now in every part of life
In games of dejarik as well as war
If a wookie has to win it then why bother to begin it?
And I ain’t a Martian anymore!
And I must have wiped the Daleks out at least a hundred times
But they keep on resurrecting by the score
When they next return I’m slated to be first exterminated
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!
For it’s red planet’s children that always go to war
Red planet’s children who fall
Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun
And tell me was it worth it all?
I may have been a Martian but I’m sick of all this strife
I’m sick of spilling alien guts and gore
I’ll wind up like a Reaver smashing heads in with a cleaver
If I stay a Martian anymore!
Now the Cybermen are screaming that the universe is theirs
The Vogons threaten poetry galore
Let them toss me in a vortx, mess with my cerebral cortex
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!
No I ain’t a Martian anymore!
For it’s red planet’s children that always go to war
Red planet’s children who fall
Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun
And tell me was it worth it all?