Slytherins are Misunderstood – Misbehavin’ Maidens

 

Slytherins are Misunderstood

To the tune of “Jogging”

Slytherins are evil
That’s what other houses say!
But as a Slytherin
I aim to change your view today
Slytherins aren’t terrible
We’re just misunderstood
Just because we’re little power-obsessed
Doesn’t mean we can’t be good

Chorus:

Oh Slytherin, oh Slytherin
They all think you’re bad
But a Slytherin will be the
Bestest friend you’ve ever had!

Slytherins can be so kind
They take care of their friends
They’ll find for you a meal
Cuz you “forgot your lunch again”!
They really are the sweetest
It just doesn’t always show
But don’t ask them where they got that sandwich
You don’t want to know!

Chorus

Slytherins watch out for you
They’ll make sure you’re ok!
They’ll tell your ex to [bleep] right off
And make them go away!
They’ll respect your choices
When you want to win or quit
And most of the time will manipulate you
only a little bit!

Chorus

A Slytherin will open up
If they think you’ll listen
You know they care about you
If they don’t just hold it in
Expressing their emotions
Is not their strongest trait
Unless, of course, you count the feelings
Sad, mad, fear, and hate.

Chorus

I hope I’ve helped you all to see
That Slytherins are fine!
You don’t have to reject us
You just have to have a spine!
Your Slytherin can be bad at knowing
Where some boundaries lay
That’s why we all need our Hufflepuffs
To keep us all at bay!

Chorus x2

Hey Jolly Doomsman – nimium-amatrix-ingenii-sui

nimium-amatrix-ingenii-sui:

I ventured into Angband deep, hey, jolly Doomsman
And dancèd there in evil’s keep, and therefore make me room, man
Sent Morgoth’s court a-sleeping still, hey, jolly Doomsman
And from him stole a Silmaril, and therefore make me room, man

Space Shanty – Misbehavin’ Maidens

To the tune of “The Mermaid”

It was Wednesday morn when we engaged
Boldly going places man has never known
When up on the Bridge, they spied a Romulan ship
Far away from the Neutral Zone

Chorus:

And the planets they do roll, And the distant stars they glow
And we poor Ensigns are running round the ship
While civilians they lie down below (below, below)
While civilians they lie down below

Up spoke Number One of the Enterprise
And he was a handsome bearded man
He straddled a chair with his very long legs
And said, “Captain do we have a plan?”

Chorus

Up spoke the Captain of the Enterprise
And a well-spoken man was he
“I don’t want to tangle with the Romulans,
I would rather drink my hot Earl Grey tea!”

Chorus

Up spoke the doctor of the Enterprise
She was a strong willed woman in blue
She said, “Captain come on, you have to run this ship
All the crew is depending on you!”

Chorus

Up spoke Lt. Commander of the Enterprise
And a curious android was he
“Can someone please explain why this Romulan ship
Has decided to break the treaty?”

Chorus

Up spoke the pilot of the Enterprise
And a nerdy little genius was he
He said, “I think that we should…”
“Shut up Wesley!!”

Chorus

Up spoke the engineer of the Enterprise
And his visor was really high-tech
“I hope that this conflict doesn’t take that long
I’ve a date waiting on the holodeck.”

Chorus

Up spoke the counselor of the Enterprise
And a very pretty empath was she
“There’s a Romulan vessel outside of this ship
And I sense the Romulans are angry”

Chorus

Up spoke Security on the Enterprise
And a very moody Klingon was he
He said–
“Klingons do not sing space shanties.”

Chorus X2

Dumb Ways to Con – Misbehavin’ Maidens

Dumb Ways to Con

To the tune of Metro Train Melbourne’s “Dumb Ways to Die”

Stop for pictures at the top of the stairs,
Try to lick all of the vendor wares
Rush a panel room when you’re told to wait,
Tell a Xenomorph you wanna procreate

Chorus:

Dumb ways to con,
So many dumb ways to con,
Dumb ways to co-o-on,
So many dumb ways to con

Keep a Tribble as a pet,
Sell a vial of Chris Evans’ sweat,
Enter the Pokemon tourny with all bidoof,
Do a barrel roll off the hotel roof

Chorus

Challenge a Wookiee to a fight,
Smoke a cigarette and set your wig alight
Go to the LARP with a sharpened sword
Throw some chimichangas at a Deadpool horde

Chorus

Yell spoilers at the Game of Thrones shoot,
Tell an Alucard his Carmen Sandiego’s cute,
Go to the rave when you’re feeling faint
Hug somebody while in unsealed body paint

Chorus

Agree to a group skit without committing…
Watch all of Evangelion in one sitting…
Go all weekend without taking a shower,
Chug energy drinks and just live in the game room
Blow your money on swag and forget food’s important,
They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly

The dumbest ways to con,
The dumbest ways to con,
Dumb ways to con-o-oooooonnn…
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to con….

O Christmas Tree Cluster – Sophus

sophus-b:

I wrote an ode to the Christmas Tree Cluster, and all the other awesome astronomical objects in it’s region. This is my present to you, Internet.

Have an awesome holiday– and may the stars shine bright tonight!

O Christmas Tree Cluster

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,

How brightly shines
your majesty!

Called NGC
two-two-six-four,

But you are also so
much more.

O Christmas tree, O
Christmas tree,

How brightly shines
your majesty!

 

O Christmas tree, O
Christmas tree,

So many stars adorn
thee!

Your stellar furnace
casts it’s glow,

And bathes us in
it’s light below.

O Christmas tree, o
Christmas tree,

So many stars adorn
thee!

 

O Christmas tree, O
Christmas tree,

Twinkling for our
jubilee!

So far to fly for
Santa’s sleigh:

Twenty-six-thousand
light years ‘way.

O Christmas tree, O
Christmas tree,

Twinkling for our
jubilee!

 

O Christmas tree, O
Christmas tree,

We greet you at our
apogee!

We lift our eyes up
to the sky;

Your light inspires
man to fly.

O Christmas tree, O
Christmas tree,

We
greet you at our apogee!

 

I, the copyright holder of this work, hereby publish it under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 licence.

smols-darklighter – Coruscant (is Palpatinople)

smols-darklighter:

permian-tropos:

permian-tropos:

*eyes shoot open as I’m drifting off to sleep* AU where after the Empire was founded, Coruscant was renamed Palpatinople

#palpatown#palpatinopolis#philapalpia: the planet of palpable love#oh god make this stop

*sings*

Coruscant is Palpatinople
It was Coruscant, now Palpatinople
The Jedi are gone, Palpatinople:
Here’s how liberty dies
And the Sith Lords rise.

Everyone on Palpatinople
Lived on Coruscant (now Palpatinople)
But if you are rich on Palpatinople
You were rich on Coruscant too.

(Even “Coruscant” was once “Had Abbadon.”
Why George changed it, here’s a clue:
Zahn’s writing in the the Old EU!)

OH, Sheev renamed it “Palpatinople,”
He’s the Senate now; Palpatinople–
How will “Palpatinople” get the boot?
That’s up to the Rebellion and Luuuuke!

*musical Wookiee noises*
It’sEvil (it’sEvil)
*more musical Wookiee noises*
It’sEvil.

Coruscant is Palpatinople
It was Coruscant, now Palpatinople
The Jedi are gone, Palpatinople:
How will “Palpatinople” get the boot?
That’s up to Han, Leia, and Luuuuke…

…and Rogue One (One-ONE-onnne)
*badum-tss*

Railway to Hogwarts – Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff

There’s a young man who lived
In a hole ‘neath the stairs
Now he’s riding the railway to Hogwarts. 

Lyrics available on Bandcamp.

Filk in the Lobby – Jeff & Maya Bohnhoff

“Filk in the Lobby” by Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff, which I can only assume is based on a true story. The songs referenced in the lyrics are Fire in the Sky by Jordin Kare and March of Cambreadth by Heather Alexander.

Lyrics available on Bandcamp.

Mamas raise all your Princesses up to be Generals – theactualcluegirl

theactualcluegirl:

s-leary:

“General.”

*Filks Waylon Jennings*

Generals ain’t easy to love and they’re harder to
hold
They care more about the next battle than diamonds or gold
DeathStar destroyers and Amazon Heroes
And Dora Milaje are proof
You may not understand her, an’ she might die young
But she’ll shake the world to it’s roof.

Mamas, raise all your princesses up to be Generals
Instruct them in tactics and honor and pride
How to stand fast when they’re on the right side.
Mamas raise all your princesses up to be Generals
‘Cos they’ll take on the world and they’ll fight like a girl
To save the ones that they love

Generals take lovers who know that they go where they have to
Where the troops need them, and where the foe gathers to fight
Empires tremble when they take the field and then Fall in their moment of triumph
Cause they don’t know surrender, and if they retreat
The trap it leads into holds tight

Mamas, raise all your princesses up to be Generals
Instruct them in tactics and honor and pride
How to stand fast when they’re on the right side.
Mamas raise all your princesses up to be Generals
‘Cos they’ll take on the world and they’ll fight like a girl
To save the home that they love