Space Shanty – Misbehavin’ Maidens

To the tune of “The Mermaid”

It was Wednesday morn when we engaged
Boldly going places man has never known
When up on the Bridge, they spied a Romulan ship
Far away from the Neutral Zone

Chorus:

And the planets they do roll, And the distant stars they glow
And we poor Ensigns are running round the ship
While civilians they lie down below (below, below)
While civilians they lie down below

Up spoke Number One of the Enterprise
And he was a handsome bearded man
He straddled a chair with his very long legs
And said, “Captain do we have a plan?”

Chorus

Up spoke the Captain of the Enterprise
And a well-spoken man was he
“I don’t want to tangle with the Romulans,
I would rather drink my hot Earl Grey tea!”

Chorus

Up spoke the doctor of the Enterprise
She was a strong willed woman in blue
She said, “Captain come on, you have to run this ship
All the crew is depending on you!”

Chorus

Up spoke Lt. Commander of the Enterprise
And a curious android was he
“Can someone please explain why this Romulan ship
Has decided to break the treaty?”

Chorus

Up spoke the pilot of the Enterprise
And a nerdy little genius was he
He said, “I think that we should…”
“Shut up Wesley!!”

Chorus

Up spoke the engineer of the Enterprise
And his visor was really high-tech
“I hope that this conflict doesn’t take that long
I’ve a date waiting on the holodeck.”

Chorus

Up spoke the counselor of the Enterprise
And a very pretty empath was she
“There’s a Romulan vessel outside of this ship
And I sense the Romulans are angry”

Chorus

Up spoke Security on the Enterprise
And a very moody Klingon was he
He said–
“Klingons do not sing space shanties.”

Chorus X2

Sun of Vulcan – Debra F. Sanders & Cynthia McQuillin

Sun of Vulcan grant that I may be restored
I do not seek nor understand, what I am fighting for

Have you always wanted to hear a heartfelt song about Pon Farr?  Would you like some genuine, vintage, archival quality Spirk content?  Yes, yes you would.

“Sun of Vulcan,” by Debra F. Sanders & Cynthia McQuillin

Lyrics below the cut, since they’re not readily available online.  Thanks to @aaaaaicantthinkofaname for the transcription!

Read moreSun of Vulcan – Debra F. Sanders & Cynthia McQuillin

Favourite Daughter – Leslie Hudson

Seven’s my favourite daughter
I know what’s best
I will protect her
You and your kind
Will be slaughtered
If you stand in the way
Of my favourite daughter

“Favourite Daughter” by Leslie Hudson, a chilling duet for Janeway and the Borg Queen. I got to see Leslie Hudson perform this live with Dr. Mary Crowell, and it was amazing.

Lyrics available on Bandcamp.

Replicator Malfunction Blues – Chris Conway

I got the replicator malfunction blues
It messes up whatever I choose
Chief come and fix it and don’t be late
We never had this trouble on Deep Space 8
It’s driving me crazy, and I’m losing weight
And I got those replicator malfunction blues

“Replicator Malfunction Blues” by Chris Conway, a song about the trials of living on a certain space station.

Lyrics available on the Deep Space Love CD page (scroll halfway down the page to get to the lyrics section).

I Ain’t A Martian Anymore – Araxie Haldane

scribefindegil:

animatedamerican:
What was the very first filk song you wrote about?

scribefindegil:

oooh! I was writing songs since I was very small and they were all about fantasy things (exception: the time my fourth-grade class wrote and performed a musical about whales in which I played a marine biologist/detective) because everything in my life was about fantasy things.
But the first actual filk I wrote was a collab with one of my best friends from college. It was written to the tune of “I Ain’t Marching Anymore” and was called “I Ain’t A Martian Anymore.” I should see if I can dig up the words.
I think that she came up with the title, and then I suggested the line “Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun,” and then we wrote verses back and forth to each other over the summer and on each other’s whiteboards when we got back to school. It was a very fun process!
(bonus minor collaborators were my dad for insisting I find a way to rhyme “vortex” with “cerebral cortex” and @thebastardofgloucester for knowing board games they play in the Star Wars universe)

… i have a MIGHTY NEED  to see these lyrics

Okay, here we are. Turns out I still have the whole thing memorized even though I need to go look up that Star Wars board game every time.
I Ain’t A Martian Anymore
You’ve heard of those Ferengi with their acquisition rules
Their plotting and their scheming and their lore
They take all that they need, they have no law but greed
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!
And you’ve doubtless met those green men in their funny little ships
Drawing circles in your fields of corn
Every day is an occasion for an alien invasion
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!
For it’s red planet’s children that always go to war
Red planet’s children who fall
Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun
And tell me was it worth it all?

I’ve had my share of combat now in every part of life
In games of dejarik as well as war
If a wookie has to win it then why bother to begin it?
And I ain’t a Martian anymore!
And I must have wiped the Daleks out at least a hundred times
But they keep on resurrecting by the score
When they next return I’m slated to be first exterminated
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!
For it’s red planet’s children that always go to war
Red planet’s children who fall
Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun
And tell me was it worth it all?

I may have been a Martian but I’m sick of all this strife
I’m sick of spilling alien guts and gore
I’ll wind up like a Reaver smashing heads in with a cleaver
If I stay a Martian anymore!
Now the Cybermen are screaming that the universe is theirs
The Vogons threaten poetry galore
Let them toss me in a vortx, mess with my cerebral cortex
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!
No I ain’t a Martian anymore!
For it’s red planet’s children that always go to war
Red planet’s children who fall
Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun
And tell me was it worth it all?

Starfleet Hymn – dangerouscommiesubversive


dangerouscommiesubversive:

to the tune of “Northwest Passage,” by Stan Rogers

Sung at the funerals of Starfleet crew members who died in the line of duty. “In the line of duty” is to be understood as “while in good standing at all,” whether the particular crew member died on a rescue mission or peacefully in bed.

(refrain)
We will gird our minds with the armor of compassion
And set our course for starfields where we have not gone before
To see far more worlds than one person can imagine
Each nebula and wormhole is a newly opened door

We started on the ocean and we sailed from coast to coast
And we mapped the planet over, every tree and rock and ghost
And when the world was drawn out and the sea and land were ours
We raised our eyes and turned them to the stars

(refrain)
We will gird our minds with the armor of compassion
And set our course for starfields where we have not gone before
To see far more worlds than one person can imagine
Each nebula and wormhole is a newly opened door

Each planet is a treasure, every nebula a jewel
And the workings of the galaxy are strange and sometimes cruel
But our duty is to guard it from the ones who would destroy
And to learn and to adventure is our joy

(refrain)
We will gird our minds with the armor of compassion
And set our course for starfields where we have not gone before
To see far more worlds than one person can imagine
Each nebula and wormhole is a newly opened door

‘Tis a gift to sail the cosmos with the glory that is flight
Serve the universe together, and the future will be bright
We’ll go hand in hand together and both near and far we rove
And the message we are sending out is love

(refrain)
We will gird our minds with the armor of compassion
And set our course for starfields where we have not gone before
To see far more worlds than one person can imagine
Each nebula and wormhole is a newly opened door

Now your wandering is over and your mission at an end
You will leave us with all honor as a true and loyal friend
While we cannot go together you can travel with no fear
To the last and most unknowable frontier

(refrain)
We will gird our minds with the armor of compassion
And set our course for starfields where we have not gone before
To see far more worlds than one person can imagine
Each nebula and wormhole is a newly opened door

Filksong Genealogy: The Comforts of Home

 
Who checks the airlocks anyhow?
A million years from now it may reach
Home…
 

It is a blessing and a curse among filkers, but a lot of our best jokes need…a bit of setting up.
The first of these (lyrics) is a deceptively sweet love song.  The second (lyrics), by the same band, is a legitimate criticism of Gene Roddenberry’s visual worldbuilding.  The third (lyrics) is Bob Kanefsky’s triumphant combination of the two, in beautiful polyphony by the original band.
(Series: Filksong Genealogy)