I Ain’t A Martian Anymore – Araxie Haldane

scribefindegil:

animatedamerican:

What was the very first filk song you wrote about?

scribefindegil:

oooh! I was writing songs since I was very small and they were all about fantasy things (exception: the time my fourth-grade class wrote and performed a musical about whales in which I played a marine biologist/detective) because everything in my life was about fantasy things.

But the first actual filk I wrote was a collab with one of my best friends from college. It was written to the tune of “I Ain’t Marching Anymore” and was called “I Ain’t A Martian Anymore.” I should see if I can dig up the words.

I think that she came up with the title, and then I suggested the line “Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun,” and then we wrote verses back and forth to each other over the summer and on each other’s whiteboards when we got back to school. It was a very fun process!

(bonus minor collaborators were my dad for insisting I find a way to rhyme “vortex” with “cerebral cortex” and @thebastardofgloucester for knowing board games they play in the Star Wars universe)

… i have a MIGHTY NEED  to see these lyrics

Okay, here we are. Turns out I still have the whole thing memorized even though I need to go look up that Star Wars board game every time.

I Ain’t A Martian Anymore

You’ve heard of those Ferengi with their acquisition rules
Their plotting and their scheming and their lore
They take all that they need, they have no law but greed
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!
And you’ve doubtless met those green men in their funny little ships
Drawing circles in your fields of corn
Every day is an occasion for an alien invasion
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!

For it’s red planet’s children that always go to war
Red planet’s children who fall
Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun
And tell me was it worth it all?

I’ve had my share of combat now in every part of life
In games of dejarik as well as war
If a wookie has to win it then why bother to begin it?
And I ain’t a Martian anymore!
And I must have wiped the Daleks out at least a hundred times
But they keep on resurrecting by the score
When they next return I’m slated to be first exterminated
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!

For it’s red planet’s children that always go to war
Red planet’s children who fall
Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun
And tell me was it worth it all?

I may have been a Martian but I’m sick of all this strife
I’m sick of spilling alien guts and gore
I’ll wind up like a Reaver smashing heads in with a cleaver
If I stay a Martian anymore!
Now the Cybermen are screaming that the universe is theirs
The Vogons threaten poetry galore
Let them toss me in a vortx, mess with my cerebral cortex
But I ain’t a Martian anymore!
No I ain’t a Martian anymore!

For it’s red planet’s children that always go to war
Red planet’s children who fall
Take a look at what we’ve done with a laser-powered gun
And tell me was it worth it all?

Starfleet Hymn – dangerouscommiesubversive

dangerouscommiesubversive:

to the tune of “Northwest Passage,” by Stan Rogers

Sung at the funerals of Starfleet crew members who died in the line of duty. “In the line of duty” is to be understood as “while in good standing at all,” whether the particular crew member died on a rescue mission or peacefully in bed.

(refrain)
We will gird our minds with the armor of compassion
And set our course for starfields where we have not gone before
To see far more worlds than one person can imagine
Each nebula and wormhole is a newly opened door

We started on the ocean and we sailed from coast to coast
And we mapped the planet over, every tree and rock and ghost
And when the world was drawn out and the sea and land were ours
We raised our eyes and turned them to the stars

(refrain)
We will gird our minds with the armor of compassion
And set our course for starfields where we have not gone before
To see far more worlds than one person can imagine
Each nebula and wormhole is a newly opened door

Each planet is a treasure, every nebula a jewel
And the workings of the galaxy are strange and sometimes cruel
But our duty is to guard it from the ones who would destroy
And to learn and to adventure is our joy

(refrain)
We will gird our minds with the armor of compassion
And set our course for starfields where we have not gone before
To see far more worlds than one person can imagine
Each nebula and wormhole is a newly opened door

‘Tis a gift to sail the cosmos with the glory that is flight
Serve the universe together, and the future will be bright
We’ll go hand in hand together and both near and far we rove
And the message we are sending out is love

(refrain)
We will gird our minds with the armor of compassion
And set our course for starfields where we have not gone before
To see far more worlds than one person can imagine
Each nebula and wormhole is a newly opened door

Now your wandering is over and your mission at an end
You will leave us with all honor as a true and loyal friend
While we cannot go together you can travel with no fear
To the last and most unknowable frontier

(refrain)
We will gird our minds with the armor of compassion
And set our course for starfields where we have not gone before
To see far more worlds than one person can imagine
Each nebula and wormhole is a newly opened door

Filksong Genealogy: The Comforts of Home

 

Who checks the airlocks anyhow?
A million years from now it may reach
Home…

 

It is a blessing and a curse among filkers, but a lot of our best jokes need…a bit of setting up.

The first of these (lyrics) is a deceptively sweet love song.  The second (lyrics), by the same band, is a legitimate criticism of Gene Roddenberry’s visual worldbuilding.  The third (lyrics) is Bob Kanefsky’s triumphant combination of the two, in beautiful polyphony by the original band.

(Series: Filksong Genealogy)

 

Make it So – Annwn

The website claims “No, really, it’s not slash fiction about the decade’s favorite science fiction show. Honest.” but I…I don’t see what else it could be…

Performed by Mark Ungar, Leigh Ann Hussey, and Elton (as far as I can tell, he’s just called Elton)

Download link, lyircs, and more music available here

My Spock – Jackson Lanzing

You can put me down as “always skeptical about nerd rap” but okay okay, “My heart’s like my planet, a black hole of red granite” is a really good line, and both the song and video here are very well done.

“My Spock,” by Jackson Lanzing, to the tune of “My Shot,” from Hamilton, lyrics available here

The Enterprise Came Flying In – Star Trek Renegades

startrekrenegades:

Now presenting… The Enterprise Came Flying In, the first pre-release from the IDICarols album, featuring Trekmas classics such as

  • Hark, the Emissary Leads
  • Rockin’ Around the Enterprise 
  • O! Mister Spock
  • The Twelve Days of Trekmas
  • and many, many more!

Secular, Trekular fun can be yours for the low, low price of your dignity! When no other holiday music will do, sing along to IDICarols, coming soon to a Trekkie near you.

[original instrumental track source]

Demon in the Dark – Kathy Mar

I cry for the lost broken children
I weep for the last dying spark
And if only you could weep for the children
You would not call me demon in the dark

“Demon in the Dark,” by Kathy Mar.  I don’t really know what this is about, besides killing children, but I like it.  The song.  Not killing children.  I swear.