Superheroes Are People Too – The PDX Broadsides

Superheroes are people, too
Give those guys the same respect they give to me and you
Let them have some privacy when the day is through
Because superheroes are people, too

Wonder Woman can shower on her own
Stop asking Catwoman if she will “crack your whip”
Zatanna can wear pants if she wants to
A telephoto lens is not a relationship… Peter Parker 

“Superheroes Are People, Too,” an important PSA from the PDX Broadsides.

Lyrics available on Bandcamp.

Everybody Dies – The PDX Broadsides

I love to watch my Game of Thrones – by far my favorite show
But if you haven’t seen it and know nothing like Jon Snow
I’m happy to give you some pointers
Game rules, as it were
The first thing that you really ought to know… 

“Everybody Dies” by the PDX Broadsides, a remarkably concise summary of the HBO series.

Lyrics available on Bandcamp.

Terrorists Ate My Homework – Terence Chua

Teacher, dear teacher
We live in trying times
These days it seems that nowhere’s safe
No refuge can we find
The terror’s tainted Freedom’s shores
Stained it with crimson hues
And that’s the reason why my paper’s
Two weeks overdue

Relateable, politically relevant content from Terence Chua

Lyrics/Download

Bang Away, Maidens – Misbehavin’ Maidens

from the album Sloppy Seconds
To the tune of “Bang Away, Lulu”

Lyrics

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Saber is a Slytherin
She loves silver and green
She’s good at speaking Parseltongue
If you know what I mean

Our Saber’s quite a kinkster
They know her far and wide
She said to Westley,
“As you wish,“
Now she’s the Princess Bride!

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Rouge, she loves the Dresden
His books she does applaud
And if she ever met him
She’d ride his blasting rod!

Our Rouge once screwed some Trekkies
The answer to their prayers
She likes it rough, and now they know
Why Riker straddles chairs!

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Lucky loves Tom Hiddleston
He gives her all the feels
She thinks she’d get the best of him, but
In the end she always kneels!

Our Lucky makes cosplayers blush
With her sweet affections
Don’t flirt with her in spandex, boys;
It don’t hide erections! (That’s true!)

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Flint “bangs” a bit differently
She brought her gun to con
Shot off The Doctor’s stetson
While dressed up as River Song

Our Flint she once met Link, they say,
She made that hero drool
But then she left him in her dust
And went to save Hyrule!

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Bang Away, Maidens, by Misbehavin’ Maidens

Here’s To The Heroes – Terence Chua

They lost the day, they screwed the pooch
They really mucked it up
They found out that reality
Is such a bitter cup
If there’s a lesson to be learned they learned it far too late
That the principles of physics always beat the rules of fate

“Here’s To The Heroes,” by Terence Chua, who understands that narrative convenience, unfortunately, need not always apply.

lyrics

download

Rocket Robin Hood

From Eva Baskins:

Since this is a show theme song, I’m not sure if it counts, but… Rocket Robin Hood! This feels like something that could have a filk following, just because the concept opens up so many questions! (I’ll admit, I’ve never actually watched it, and I only just now found out the thing existed.)

 

…can’t say I’ve ever heard of it either, but MAN what a concept.  And now if I had to explain filk to someone without using any actual filk music…I might just show them this.

Filksong Genealogy: The Comforts of Home

 

Who checks the airlocks anyhow?
A million years from now it may reach
Home…

 

It is a blessing and a curse among filkers, but a lot of our best jokes need…a bit of setting up.

The first of these (lyrics) is a deceptively sweet love song.  The second (lyrics), by the same band, is a legitimate criticism of Gene Roddenberry’s visual worldbuilding.  The third (lyrics) is Bob Kanefsky’s triumphant combination of the two, in beautiful polyphony by the original band.

(Series: Filksong Genealogy)

 

Filksong Genealogy: Black Flag

And you’ll regret that ever you fed
At the board of Anne Bonny…

A very earnest song about pirates (lyrics) by Annwn, and one to the same tune, performed by the same band, but with lyrics by Bob Kanefesky, which is…earnest in its own way.  Take care among pirates, they rarely wash the dishes.

From the liner notes of the Roundworm album:  “whey hay (/hwA ‘hA/) n. a fibrous yellow mold (Coloropus yukosporus) commonly found on expired cottage cheese. See also dairy down.”

Content warning, in case the above isn’t enough: the second song is about very, very unsanitary kitchen conditions.

(Series: Filksong Genealogy)

 

Filksong Genealogy: December of Cambreadth

 

Use your hooves and use your head
Don’t let down the Man in Red 

“March of Cambreadth” (lyrics), by Heather Alexander, is a classic battle song about killing as many people as possible.  “December of Cambreadth” (lyrics), a parody by Bob Kanefsky, is…also about maximization of output, but the similarities end there.  Except that the language is, somehow, equally vicious.

(Series: Filksong Genealogy)

Don’t Sail There No More

We used to sail to R’lyeh; that’s where we put ashore
We used to sail to R’lyeh; we did but we don’t anymore
A lass there wanted an Elder Thing; we had some of those on board
Cthulu, she wanted? A Deep One she got!
That’s why we don’t sail there no more…

Check out the Misbehavin’ Maidens on Bandcamp

Support the Misbehavin’ Maidens’ 2nd album Kickstarter through Feb. 2, 2017

Don’t Sail There No More

307 Ale – Tom Smith

Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
It’ll lay your whole damn world to waste, it’ll make you fit and hale,
There’s nothing that you’ll ever taste like Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads,
Three-Oh-Seven Ale.

“307 Ale” is about beer brewed in a tesseract and was inspired by a licence plate that read 307 ALE.  If you happen to have a license number 307 ALE, Tom Smith will send you a free CD.