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tom smith

307 Ale – Tom Smith

Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
It’ll lay your whole damn world to waste, it’ll make you fit and hale,
There’s nothing that you’ll ever taste like Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads,
Three-Oh-Seven Ale.

“307 Ale” is about beer brewed in a tesseract and was inspired by a licence plate that read 307 ALE.  If you happen to have a license number 307 ALE, Tom Smith will send you a free CD.

Rocket Ride – Tom Smith

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide,
Nothing worth doing that I haven’t tried.
There ain’t no living on planetside,
Come on with me, baby, on a rocket ride.

“Rocket Ride,” which Tom Smith wrote in a Hyatt food court before his concert at MarsCon 1994, inspired by the con’s theme for the year, which was “Retro SF.”

The Illuminati Polka – Tom Smith

I rule you, you rule me, someone rules us secretly,
It’s a vast conspiracy, the Illuminati Polka!

It has come to the brain mod’s attention that we haven’t yet posted this gem from Tom Smith. We suspect a conspiracy.

Lyrics available here.

Rich Fantasy Lives – Rob Balder & Tom Smith

Rich fantasy lives.
Our peace-bonded knives and our hyperspace drives.
Until that steam engine to Hogwarts arrives,
We have rich fantasy lives.

I posted this ages ago, but at some point the link got hecked up, so here is it again.  “Rich Fantasy Lives,” by Rob Balder, performed by Rob Balder and Tom Smith.  Chords and lyrics available here.

The Ballad of Rupert – Tom Smith

“Not your father’s nonconformist-stands-tall song – at least, I don’t THINK so….”

I started listening to this fearing it might be hella transphobic, but it turns out it’s just kind of odd and nice, because it is, after all, a nonconformist-stands-tall song, just an unconventional one.  Three cheers for Rupert the Swishy!

I Had a Shoggoth – Tom Smith


Tom Smith – I Had A Shoggoth

The ASL interpreter absolutely MAKES this video.

5 Years – Tom Smith


5 Years (Babylon 5) by Tom Smith

Hot like Ivanova and Talia,
we’re gonna Draal ya,
and then we’ll kick a little Zathras.

Yesterday all the Narns were freed
but there’s still something keeping hold on Centauri.

We’ll get a room on Z’ha’dum,
the ship’ll zoom and then go BOOM (shakalaka)
‘cos there’s always one tomorrow.

O Yog Sothoth – Tom Smith

More Lovecraft, more Tom Smith, more Christmas.

A Pirate Christmas – Tom Smith

…exactly what it says on the tin.  A medley of Christmas carols about pirates, from Tom Smith.

Return of the King, Uh Huh – Tom Smith

Tom Smith’s “Return of the King, Uh Huh,” with music video by members of the Carolina Otaku Uprising

Starlight & Dinosaurs – Brooke vs. John



I hope you cry ❤

By Brooke Lunderville, to the tune of “Starlight and Saxophone,” by Tom Smith

Starlight and Saxophone – Tom Smith

Tom Smith said, “I was one heartsick dude when I wrote this. I’m better now. But, damn, I think it’s a good song.”

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