thanks 2 everyone who’s been calling me a bard, this one’s for you
(lyrics by Mercedes Lackey, tune by Leslie Fish)
comedy
Midichlorian Rhapsody – Jeff & Maya Bohnhoff
I’ve got no real life-
I live on Tatooine…
We posted a video of this song a couple years back, but it’s time for us to bring it back in honor of Star Wars season. So, here’s “Midichlorian Rhapsody” by Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff, 2014 Pegasus award winner and absolute gem of a Star Wars parody. There’s also a video of the 2014 OVFF performance, if you want to see a bunch of filkers pull off an impressive arrangement (there’s a reason Queen rarely performed Bohemian Rhapsody live…)
Sorry, Wrong Star – The PDX Broadsides
“Sorry, Wrong Star” by the PDX Broadsides, an… alternate ending to a traditional Christmas story.
Have a merry Star Wars season, everyone!
Red Shirt’s Prayer – The PDX Broadsides
As I boldly go, against our foes, my red shirt is my glory,
But If I should die, hold your head high and tell them all my story
“Red Shirt’s Prayer” by the PDX Broadsides, a song for the unsung heros of the Star Trek universe.
If I Had the Copyright (The F Word Song) – Carla Ulbrich
If I had the copyright on the word ****
I’d say **** this job and yourself you dumb ****
No need for hard work and no need for luck
If I had the copyright on the word ****
“If I Had the Copyright (The F Word Song)” by Carla Ulbrich, which is pretty much what it says on the tin. There’s also an uncensored version, but honestly, this version is twice as funny.
He’s Dead, Jim – Julia Ecklar
He’s dead, Jim.
He’s gone and died.
He’s croaked off,
I don’t know why.
Some weird disease we’ve found
Has put him six feet down.
Cremation
Has claimed him.
He’s dead, Jim.
“He’s Dead, Jim,” an early song by Julia Ecklar, which is… pretty much what it says on the tin.
Lyrics, chords, and sheet music are included in the Traveller Songbook, which is available for free download from Prometheus Music as a scanned PDF.
The Ose – Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff
It’s the voice that’s always breaking
That never learns to scan.
It’s the song of grim war-making
The ever-crying man.
It’s the one who won’t be cheerful
Who cannot find the tune.
And the fan, afraid of smiling
Who sings of wreck and ruin.
“The Ose” by Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff, a song for our favorite depressing filk genre.
Kessel Run – Murder Ballads
Well, I hope you don’t mind me interrupting you miss
What’s a girl like you doing on a planet like this?
I really wouldn’t mind spending time with you
My name might be Solo, but I’m built for two
A little bit o’ booze, a little bit o’ nookie
And a little joy ride with a seven-foot Wookie
Gonna run
“Kessel Run,” a Han Solo song by Adam Fromm.
M is for Magic Missile – Dr. Mary Crowell
‘A’ is Antimagic Field and
‘B’ for Bigby’s Hands
‘C’ will charm a person, so
You’ll be in high demand…
“M is for Magic Missile,” a Dungeons & Dragons alphabet for all of us who keep forgetting that darn spell name.
Written by Dr. Mary Crowell and recorded with Michelle “Vixy” Dockrey and Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff. Lyrics are available on Bandcamp.
Tatooine – Jeff & Maya Bohnhoff
Broken down star drive,
Feelin’ lucky to be alive.
Thought that I’d give old Lando a call.
But Vader was waiting,
With Carbonite plating –
So now I’m right here decorating the wall.
“Tatooine,” a parody for Han Solo by Jeff & Maya Bohnhoff, featuring lead vocals by Kris Bohnhoff.