Födelsedagsfesten – Triakel

“Födelsedagsfesten” is filk song about a birthday party, with a convoluted history. It was first written by Swedish fan, sf author, translator, sf publisher etc Sam J. Lundwall. It was recorded a few times in the 70s by various artists but then languished undiscovered by anyone until Swedish folk trio Triakel did a cover in 1998. It is their version which is linked above.

From there it received a couple more covers, and also was discovered by Swedish LARPers, among which it became very popular. They have also written new lyrics to the tune, both minor changes and full rewrites.

Triakel commissioned English lyrics by Alistair Cochrane when releasing their CD, that is fully singable as far as I know:

THE BIRTHDAY PARTY

There once was a farmer who lived in the north,
He was now half a century old
And his guests came a-travelling the long, winding road,
One hundred or more all told.
He had laid in enough of the finest of food
For a three week feast, so it seemed,
And deep in the larder, in row upon row,
The bottles of booze stood and gleamed.

(Chrous: Faddy doo dum day, faddy dee and faddy da,
Drink up and fight with your friends.
For it’s laughter and song the whole night long
Till the birthday party comes to an end.)

Well the feasting began and the strong liquor ran
In and out of every glass,
With brandy and whisky and strong ale and rum,
The first hours of evening passed.
And they ate and they drank and they talked and they joked,
There was singing and laughter and fun,
Till the first of the quarrelling and fighting broke out
And the party had really begun.

(Chorus)

With their knives in their hands they shouted and swore
As they challenged each other to fight,
And the womenfolk lamented and cried by the door,
As usual on a party night.
Then the farmer decided to join in the fray,
And he looked both furious and grim,
Till Johnny the Ripper appeared in his way –
And that was the end of him.

(Chorus)

The farmer’s wife grew as angry as a bee
And she started to curse and to yell,
Till the men picked her up and carried her away,
And flung her into the well.
And then they went back to get on with their fun,
Smashing lamps in the heat of the fight,
And the fire slowly spread from the floor to the walls
Till the whole of the house was alight.

(Chrous)

At the dawn of the day the sun cast its rays
On the tops of the hills and the trees.
It shone on the scene where the farmhouse had been
And the smoke drifting by on the breeze.
The farmer’s wife still clung for her life
To the edge of the deep, dark well,
And the last brief noise was the echo of  her voice
And a splash from the depths as she fell.

(Chorus)

Beware the Sentient Chili – Chris & Karen Weber

Beware of the sentient Chili
that burbles away on your stove.
The peppers are silently plotting
with legumes, tomatoes and cloves.
At night when you’re comfortably sleeping
and lie unaware in your bed,
the vegetables plan insurrection;
the lettuce are seeking new heads.

“Beware the Sentient Chili,” a truly terrifying monster story by Chris and Karen Weber.

Lyrics available here.

Superheroes Are People Too – The PDX Broadsides

Superheroes are people, too
Give those guys the same respect they give to me and you
Let them have some privacy when the day is through
Because superheroes are people, too

Wonder Woman can shower on her own
Stop asking Catwoman if she will “crack your whip”
Zatanna can wear pants if she wants to
A telephoto lens is not a relationship… Peter Parker 

“Superheroes Are People, Too,” an important PSA from the PDX Broadsides.

Lyrics available on Bandcamp.

Everybody Dies – The PDX Broadsides

I love to watch my Game of Thrones – by far my favorite show
But if you haven’t seen it and know nothing like Jon Snow
I’m happy to give you some pointers
Game rules, as it were
The first thing that you really ought to know… 

“Everybody Dies” by the PDX Broadsides, a remarkably concise summary of the HBO series.

Lyrics available on Bandcamp.

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Vikings – Joe Bethancourt


“Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Vikings” – good sound advice from Joe Bethancourt, a bit late for most of the Society for Creative Anachronism crowd

Terrorists Ate My Homework – Terence Chua

Teacher, dear teacher
We live in trying times
These days it seems that nowhere’s safe
No refuge can we find
The terror’s tainted Freedom’s shores
Stained it with crimson hues
And that’s the reason why my paper’s
Two weeks overdue

Relatable, politically relevant content from Terence Chua

Lyrics/Download

Bang Away, Maidens – Misbehavin' Maidens

from the album Sloppy Seconds
To the tune of “Bang Away, Lulu”
Lyrics
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Our Saber is a Slytherin
She loves silver and green
She’s good at speaking Parseltongue
If you know what I mean
Our Saber’s quite a kinkster
They know her far and wide
She said to Westley,
“As you wish,“
Now she’s the Princess Bride!
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Our Rouge, she loves the Dresden
His books she does applaud
And if she ever met him
She’d ride his blasting rod!
Our Rouge once screwed some Trekkies
The answer to their prayers
She likes it rough, and now they know
Why Riker straddles chairs!
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Our Lucky loves Tom Hiddleston
He gives her all the feels
She thinks she’d get the best of him, but
In the end she always kneels!
Our Lucky makes cosplayers blush
With her sweet affections
Don’t flirt with her in spandex, boys;
It don’t hide erections! (That’s true!)
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Our Flint “bangs” a bit differently
She brought her gun to con
Shot off The Doctor’s stetson
While dressed up as River Song
Our Flint she once met Link, they say,
She made that hero drool
But then she left him in her dust
And went to save Hyrule!
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Bang Away, Maidens, by Misbehavin’ Maidens