Pure of Heart – Araxie Haldane


It was only a matter of time before I wrote a filk inspired by The Last Mabelcorn. Don’t let the unicorns get you down.

The unicorn smiled when she saw you approaching her fountain
“Just one little test” she demanded and shot you a grin
“Just prove that your heart is as pure as the dew on the snowdrops
You’ll foul my glade if you’re wicked and tainted with sin.”
Don’t fall for the lies of those cruel unicorns
You’ve been messy and mortal since the day you were born
If you try to be perfect it’s just gonna tear you apart.
They want you to break yourself down till you shatter
They’ll say that you’re selfish for knowing you matter
So be brave and tenacious and loving and joyful and smart
But forget pure of heart.

“My lady,” you said, “I can’t claim that my spirit is blameless,
But I try to do good and to help in the ways I know how
My heart’s filled with love for myself and the people around me
And I’ll strive to do more and be better and stronger, I vow!”
The unicorn scoffed and she drew back her head with a shudder.
“I knew it! You arrogant mortals have never been pure!
Perhaps if you’re humble enough you may gain some forgiveness
But you’ll never be perfect. You’re sullied, and I have no cure!”
“Well, what have you done then?” you said as you stood up and faced her
“Just sit in this glade telling people the things they can’t do.
There isn’t a deed or a person who’s ever been perfect
And I may not be pure but I’ve damn well done more good than you!”
If you’re careful you’ll notice that unicorns live all around us
You can tell by the smugly superior look in their eyes.
They’ll enumerate each of your flaws with distain in their voices.
They’ll all tell you you have to be perfect; they’ll all tell you lies!
Don’t fall for the lies of those cruel unicorns
We’ve been messy and mortal since the day we were born
If we try to be perfect it’s just gonna tear us apart.
I won’t let the world break me down till I shatter
I’d rather be selfish than think I don’t matter!
I’m brave and tenacious and loving and joyful and smart
But I’m not pure of heart.

The Ballad of Raven’s Roost – Araxie Haldane


In-universe ballad about the rebellion of Raven’s Roost. Companion piece for my fanfic “The Ballad of Raven’s Roost,” available here on tumblr and here on ao3.
(Download from Bandcamp)
Tune: Rosin the Bow (traditional)
Lyrics (below the cut): scribefindegil/Araxie Haldane
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Cipherhunt – Love Patrol Beta



@aroford and I wrote a filk about the brave and steadfast Fallers who have made the Cipherhunt so amazing!

And the lyrics if people want them:

Oh some say there’s a statue,
And to him we say “we’ll catch you!”
Ah, we’ll find it yet, we bet you
With our maps and ourcodes unfurled
We will chase the clues from Georgia
To the woods of California
Oh we’re coming and we warned ya!
And together we’ll search the world!

Oh we thought our show had ended
Though the wrap-up was quite splendid
Still we wished we had extended
Our time at the Mystery Shack.
But then Alex took to Twitter
And our hearts went all a-jitter
When we found he was no quitter;
There was one puzzle left to crack!

So of course we set off searchin’
For where ciphers might be perchin’
Oh the first one t’was a church in
Then in eastern and western shrines
We were led across the ocean
But we’d gladly make the motion
To prove our deep devotion
And get help from the family Pines!

It was off into the forest
Where the seekers did film for us
A hunt that was long and glorious
Until finally they reached their goal
So, brave May, we’ll watch you driving
And no matter how conniving
These next ciphers are, our striving
Will not cease till the puzzle’s whole!

Tune: Ramblin’ Rover (traditional)