When @iamjohnlocked4life put up lyrics off of Weezer’s Island in the Sun, they were too sweet to pass up. Here is the big relationship drama of Ep 4 in musical form. *mwah*
(I realized I’m dumb and can just add them here, I’ll still tag though, jic @lesbianomens)
A disclaimer: As far as I know, the one you have above is the only explicitly gay filk song with recordings available online. I am 100% sure others exist!! But, I’ve not found them (if anyone has links to more, PLEASE send them my way!) SO, the songs here are ones I’ve got tagged as queer/gay/lgbt in my library, sometimes for textual reasons (Archetype Cafe, It Suits You), sometimes for thematic (noted below), and sometimes just because the #vibes are undeniable.
If there’s an ** next to a song, it’s filk more broadly, not necessarily a space shanty, but the pickins are slim and they’re all good songs. This fall mostly into the sea/space songs sub-genre of shanty (in that they would be sung when the crew is at leisure, not while they’re doing work. hence the lack of a pulling/pushing rhythm for most).
Signy Mallory by Heather Alexander/Leslie Fish (written by Mercedes Lackey; not explicitly gay, but oh man the Vibes)
Somebody Will by Sassafrass (Look, LOOK, this song changed my life. I’m not kidding. It’s all about fighting for a future you may never see, but knowing that someone out there will live that future, again, not explicitly gay, but thematically)
Long Distance Transmission by @astriiformes (No pronouns, a song of longing and wanting someone who’s far away, hopeful and sad all at once)
In Flight by @idiopathicsmile (written by @soemily, inspired by star wars (Poe Dameron I think specifically?))
**I’m Your Moon by Jonothan Colton (technically about a literal moon, spiritually though? about saying fuck societies expectations and being who you are and with who you love)
The Seas of Space by Mark Heiman (again, no pronouns, a song about traveling out into the wonders of the vast expanse with your beloved at your side, also about helping each other through the loss of your old home, ultimately hopeful I think)
In the true sea shanty genre there are some obvious gay™ choices that could be easily rerecorded as space shanties (The Handsome Cabin Boy (warning for possible gender dysphoria issues, not sure how to tag/warn past that?), Leave Her Johnny Leave Her (technically the ‘her’ is a ship, but uh, I’ve never heard this sung as if that were the case), and Don’t Forget Your Old Shipmate, to name a few). So, if anyone out there is less tone deaf than me, do us a favor huh? There are even more if we step outside f shanties into traditional folk (which was sung on ships as well) but this post is already long enough.
A minor correction: while that recording of Seas of Space is sung by Mark Heiman, it was originally written by
Suzette Haden Elgin.
The only other Gay Space Shanty I can think of is Make it So by Annwn. While the lyrics aren’t *explicitly* set in space, it’s not so subtle Picard/Riker slash.
But yeah, thank you for pointing out that there are tragically few songs in this genre, I now have a document open titled “the gay space shanty project” and am brainstorming trad shanties I can adapt to fix that…
– the brain mod
A delightful commenter on our WordPress left this addition: Captain Jack and His Crew by Bob Kanefsky. (Not set in space, but very definitely a gay sea shanty).
Slytherins are evil
That’s what other houses say!
But as a Slytherin
I aim to change your view today
Slytherins aren’t terrible
We’re just misunderstood
Just because we’re little power-obsessed
Doesn’t mean we can’t be good
Chorus:
Oh Slytherin, oh Slytherin
They all think you’re bad
But a Slytherin will be the
Bestest friend you’ve ever had!
Slytherins can be so kind
They take care of their friends
They’ll find for you a meal
Cuz you “forgot your lunch again”!
They really are the sweetest
It just doesn’t always show
But don’t ask them where they got that sandwich
You don’t want to know!
Chorus
Slytherins watch out for you
They’ll make sure you’re ok!
They’ll tell your ex to [bleep] right off
And make them go away!
They’ll respect your choices
When you want to win or quit
And most of the time will manipulate you
only a little bit!
Chorus
A Slytherin will open up
If they think you’ll listen
You know they care about you
If they don’t just hold it in
Expressing their emotions
Is not their strongest trait
Unless, of course, you count the feelings
Sad, mad, fear, and hate.
Chorus
I hope I’ve helped you all to see
That Slytherins are fine!
You don’t have to reject us
You just have to have a spine!
Your Slytherin can be bad at knowing
Where some boundaries lay
That’s why we all need our Hufflepuffs
To keep us all at bay!
I ventured into Angband deep, hey, jolly Doomsman
And dancèd there in evil’s keep, and therefore make me room, man
Sent Morgoth’s court a-sleeping still, hey, jolly Doomsman
And from him stole a Silmaril, and therefore make me room, man
It was Wednesday morn when we engaged
Boldly going places man has never known
When up on the Bridge, they spied a Romulan ship
Far away from the Neutral Zone
Chorus:
And the planets they do roll, And the distant stars they glow
And we poor Ensigns are running round the ship
While civilians they lie down below (below, below)
While civilians they lie down below
Up spoke Number One of the Enterprise
And he was a handsome bearded man
He straddled a chair with his very long legs
And said, “Captain do we have a plan?”
Chorus
Up spoke the Captain of the Enterprise
And a well-spoken man was he
“I don’t want to tangle with the Romulans,
I would rather drink my hot Earl Grey tea!”
Chorus
Up spoke the doctor of the Enterprise
She was a strong willed woman in blue
She said, “Captain come on, you have to run this ship
All the crew is depending on you!”
Chorus
Up spoke Lt. Commander of the Enterprise
And a curious android was he
“Can someone please explain why this Romulan ship
Has decided to break the treaty?”
Chorus
Up spoke the pilot of the Enterprise
And a nerdy little genius was he
He said, “I think that we should…”
“Shut up Wesley!!”
Chorus
Up spoke the engineer of the Enterprise
And his visor was really high-tech
“I hope that this conflict doesn’t take that long
I’ve a date waiting on the holodeck.”
Chorus
Up spoke the counselor of the Enterprise
And a very pretty empath was she
“There’s a Romulan vessel outside of this ship
And I sense the Romulans are angry”
Chorus
Up spoke Security on the Enterprise
And a very moody Klingon was he
He said–
“Klingons do not sing space shanties.”
To the tune of Metro Train Melbourne’s “Dumb Ways to Die”
—
Stop for pictures at the top of the stairs,
Try to lick all of the vendor wares
Rush a panel room when you’re told to wait,
Tell a Xenomorph you wanna procreate
Chorus:
Dumb ways to con,
So many dumb ways to con,
Dumb ways to co-o-on,
So many dumb ways to con
Keep a Tribble as a pet,
Sell a vial of Chris Evans’ sweat,
Enter the Pokemon tourny with all bidoof,
Do a barrel roll off the hotel roof
Chorus
Challenge a Wookiee to a fight,
Smoke a cigarette and set your wig alight
Go to the LARP with a sharpened sword
Throw some chimichangas at a Deadpool horde
Chorus
Yell spoilers at the Game of Thrones shoot,
Tell an Alucard his Carmen Sandiego’s cute,
Go to the rave when you’re feeling faint
Hug somebody while in unsealed body paint
Chorus
Agree to a group skit without committing…
Watch all of Evangelion in one sitting…
Go all weekend without taking a shower,
Chug energy drinks and just live in the game room
Blow your money on swag and forget food’s important,
They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly
The dumbest ways to con,
The dumbest ways to con,
Dumb ways to con-o-oooooonnn…
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to con….
Coruscant is Palpatinople
It was Coruscant, now Palpatinople
The Jedi are gone, Palpatinople:
How will “Palpatinople” get the boot?
That’s up to Han, Leia, and Luuuuke…
“Filk in the Lobby” by Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff, which I can only assume is based on a true story. The songs referenced in the lyrics are Fire in the Sky by Jordin Kare and March of Cambreadth by Heather Alexander.