Dumb Ways to Con

To the tune of Metro Train Melbourne’s “Dumb Ways to Die”

—

Stop for pictures at the top of the stairs,
Try to lick all of the vendor wares
Rush a panel room when you’re told to wait,
Tell a Xenomorph you wanna procreate

Chorus:

Dumb ways to con,
So many dumb ways to con,
Dumb ways to co-o-on,
So many dumb ways to con

Keep a Tribble as a pet,
Sell a vial of Chris Evans’ sweat,
Enter the Pokemon tourny with all bidoof,
Do a barrel roll off the hotel roof

Chorus

Challenge a Wookiee to a fight,
Smoke a cigarette and set your wig alight
Go to the LARP with a sharpened sword
Throw some chimichangas at a Deadpool horde

Chorus

Yell spoilers at the Game of Thrones shoot,
Tell an Alucard his Carmen Sandiego’s cute,
Go to the rave when you’re feeling faint
Hug somebody while in unsealed body paint

Chorus

Agree to a group skit without committing…
Watch all of Evangelion in one sitting…
Go all weekend without taking a shower,
Chug energy drinks and just live in the game room
Blow your money on swag and forget food’s important,
They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly

The dumbest ways to con,
The dumbest ways to con,
Dumb ways to con-o-oooooonnn…
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to con….