sci-fantasy:

filkyeahfilk:

oral tradition problems

but for real I need to find the lyrics to this song

I heard it at OVFF and it was amazing

Someone filked “The Hand of God” about Superman? Nice. Any memory who it was, by name or description?

Unfortunately, I have no idea who it was, or if the person who sang it was the writer.  And even if they were, remembering that they were white, middle-aged, and very, very ordinary-looking wouldn’t help much…

You Bash the Balrog – Lee Gold

Lyrics by Lee Gold, to the tune of “Waltzing Matilda.”  Sing it with friends as a fun party game.

Once a jolly Cleric, and a magic-using Elf,
And a mighty Dwarf with a sword plus three
Left their native village – out to get their share of pelf.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

First they met a Goblin – with a fire-breathing Hound.
They bashed and they smashed and they scragged them with glee.
Afterwards they searched them – and a Magic Potion found.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

The low Wisdom Swordsman picked it up and drank it down,
Changed to a Wolf immediately.
No one could Dispell it, so they headed back to town.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

Then a loud voice bellowed, “Who has slain the Goblin King?”
Round turned our heroes; what did they see?
Swooping down upon them was a Balrog on the wing.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

“Help,” screamed the Cleric; “Ditto,” yelled the Elven Mage.
The Wolf whimpered low – and he tried to flee.
The Balrog fell upon them, and his flames began to rage;
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

They ran through the forest, looking for a place to hide,
Pursued by the Balrog, so fierce to see.
“Wait,” cried the Elf Mage; “I have got a plan,” he lied.
“You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.”

Once a mighty Balrog slew a Cleric and an Elf
And a smallish Wolf who had teeth plus three,
Skinned them and tanned their hides…and kept them on a closet shelf.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.