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everybody hates elves

Come Rescue Me – Kari Maaren

Please, someone, come rescue me.
Tell me my destiny.
Help me to simply slide
Into being what I am meant to be.

This may be the single most insightful piece of Star Wars filk I’ve ever heard.  “Come Rescue Me,” by Kari Maaren

When the Starcats Come – Kari Maaren

“This song was inspired partly by Sandra Kasturi’s deliberately terrible poem, “Starcats!” (written for ChiZine’s twisted tribute to National Poetry Month, Shitty Poetry Month), and partly by my memories of being bullied and ostracized all through my childhood. If only I had had some Starcats to come rescue me. Ah well. At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that all my bullies likely now have prosperous families and careers, while I live in a box and must reapply for my job every four months! Er, wait…”

 “When the Starcats Come,” by Kari Maaren

I love this song because I had a shockingly similar coping mechanism in elementary school, except it involved dragons and sometimes shapeshifting and because I’ve been watching Voltron

Damn Those Dwarves – Kari Maaren

Unsurprisingly, I guess, the legendary (at least, I think she should be legendary) songwriter of “Everybody Hates Elves,” has another one about dwarves.

Everybody Hates Elves – Kari Maaren

“Everybody Hates Elves,” by Kari Maaren

You know it’s true.

Lyrics (and more songs) available on her website.

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