For space is wide and good friends are too few.
They lost the day, they screwed the pooch
They really mucked it up
They found out that reality
Is such a bitter cup
If there’s a lesson to be learned they learned it far too late
That the principles of physics always beat the rules of fate
“Here’s To The Heroes,” by Terence Chua, who understands that narrative convenience, unfortunately, need not always apply.
from the album Sloppy Seconds
“I wanna make out with you at cons
Don’t wanna be your girlfriend, don’t wanna date
Just wanna make out with you when it’s convenient
When we’re cosplaying”
I Wanna Make Out With You at Cons, by Misbehavin’ Maidens
From Eva Baskins:
Since this is a show theme song, I’m not sure if it counts, but… Rocket Robin Hood! This feels like something that could have a filk following, just because the concept opens up so many questions! (I’ll admit, I’ve never actually watched it, and I only just now found out the thing existed.)
…can’t say I’ve ever heard of it either, but MAN what a concept. And now if I had to explain filk to someone without using any actual filk music…I might just show them this.
Who checks the airlocks anyhow?
A million years from now it may reach
Home…
It is a blessing and a curse among filkers, but a lot of our best jokes need…a bit of setting up.
The first of these (lyrics) is a deceptively sweet love song. The second (lyrics), by the same band, is a legitimate criticism of Gene Roddenberry’s visual worldbuilding. The third (lyrics) is Bob Kanefsky’s triumphant combination of the two, in beautiful polyphony by the original band.
(Series: Filksong Genealogy)
And you’ll regret that ever you fed
At the board of Anne Bonny…
A very earnest song about pirates (lyrics) by Annwn, and one to the same tune, performed by the same band, but with lyrics by Bob Kanefesky, which is…earnest in its own way. Take care among pirates, they rarely wash the dishes.
From the liner notes of the Roundworm album: “whey hay (/hwA ‘hA/) n. a fibrous yellow mold (Coloropus yukosporus) commonly found on expired cottage cheese. See also dairy down.”
Content warning, in case the above isn’t enough: the second song is about very, very unsanitary kitchen conditions.
(Series: Filksong Genealogy)
Use your hooves and use your head
Don’t let down the Man in Red
“March of Cambreadth” (lyrics), by Heather Alexander, is a classic battle song about killing as many people as possible. “December of Cambreadth” (lyrics), a parody by Bob Kanefsky, is…also about maximization of output, but the similarities end there. Except that the language is, somehow, equally vicious.
(Series: Filksong Genealogy)
We used to sail to R’lyeh; that’s where we put ashore
We used to sail to R’lyeh; we did but we don’t anymore
A lass there wanted an Elder Thing; we had some of those on board
Cthulu, she wanted? A Deep One she got!
That’s why we don’t sail there no more…
Check out the Misbehavin’ Maidens on Bandcamp
Support the Misbehavin’ Maidens’ 2nd album Kickstarter through Feb. 2, 2017
Don’t Sail There No More
Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
It’ll lay your whole damn world to waste, it’ll make you fit and hale,
There’s nothing that you’ll ever taste like Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads,
Three-Oh-Seven Ale.
“307 Ale” is about beer brewed in a tesseract and was inspired by a licence plate that read 307 ALE. If you happen to have a license number 307 ALE, Tom Smith will send you a free CD.
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide,
Nothing worth doing that I haven’t tried.
There ain’t no living on planetside,
Come on with me, baby, on a rocket ride.
“Rocket Ride,” which Tom Smith wrote in a Hyatt food court before his concert at MarsCon 1994, inspired by the con’s theme for the year, which was “Retro SF.”
Joe Bethancourt, asking that essential filker question, “Will We Still Have Country Music Out In Space?”