Inspired by this post. Lyrics credit goes to everyone who contributed, I just made it scan. Three cheers to @goodqueenalys, and I hope it was OK I made a recording!
Tomorrow, Friday October 20, begins OVFF 33, the annual Ohio Valley Filk Fest, the biggest filk convention (certainly in stature; probably in people too?).
I am thus pleased to announce that after months of on-again-off-again work, and the assistance of several friends including @animatedamerican and @jchance4d4, I have finished the project envisioned here, and annotated all of the references in Andrew Ross’s “Playback.”
(Well, as much as I could. One or two were not identifiable fully.)
A lot of people commented approving of this idea when @seananmcguire reblogged this, so I hope you see the fruits of our labor.
Mary Shelley, HG Wells, people meeting at hotels
Rudyard Kipling, people singing ditties at the bar
Gilbert, Sullivan, rounds of Young Man Mulligan
Poul and Karen Anderson, songs in Key of R
Martha Keller, Tolkein, songs of worlds as yet unseen
TH White’s Arthurians, Frederick Pohl’s Futurians
Tom Lehrer, Mondegreens, Slan Shacks, fanzines
Music circles, Reprints, Jacobs has a misprint!
We shouted “MacIntyre!”
It’s our cry of battle for the Old Dun Cattle
We shouted “MacIntyre!”
And we haven’t parted since the circle started
Amazing Stories Annuals, Pelz’s Filksong Manuals
Dr. Demento tunes, Callahan’s Crosstime Saloons
Hope Eyrie, Leslie Fish, bounced potatoes off the dish
Robert Aspirin, Gwen Zak, Dawson’s Christian, Captain Jack
Off Centaur, Teri Lee, making love in zero-G
Filthy Pierre, Longcor, black market Tullamore
Juanita Coulson, Red Lions, badges marked with Dandelions
Dorsai have a Fan Club! Jello in the bathtub!
Don’t set the cat on fire
It will only fight it if you try to light it
Don’t set the cat on fire
And we haven’t parted since the circle started
Peter Beagle, Consonance, chili cursed with sentience
HOPSFA, NESFA, ConChord, and the Pegasus Award
PFNEN, Ose, Amway, Talk Like a Pirate Day
Dandelion Digitals, Julia Ecklar and the gulls
Bob Laurent, Asimov, Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff
Rocky Horror Muppet Shows, Frank Hayes feeling indisposed
Bill Sutton DIY, Marischiello goodbye
Challenger! Final tour! What else must we all endure?
We saw the sky on fire
While the world was staring, we were Jordin Karing
We saw the sky on fire
And we haven’t parted since the circle started
Kathy Mar, Next Gen, Tullamore is back again
Steve Macdonald, Elfquest, Interfilk funds a guest
Tom Smith, 307 Ale, Lee Gold, Heather Dale
Phoenyx, Keepers of the Flame, Filkontario’s Hall of Fame
Echo’s Children, Bab-5, need a fool to feed the drive
Hamlet done by John Woo, Marilisa Valtazanou
GaFilk, Urban Tapestry, lives rich in fantasy
Airwalls down at Orycon! Firebells at Baycon!
We didn’t start a fire
We were all but deafened, and began Kanefin’
We didn’t start a fire
And we haven’t parted since the circle started
Blake Hodgetts, Proteins, Vixy, Tony, Thirteen
Stone Dragons, Moxie, Zander, Heather into Alexander
Bill and Gretchen, dead mouse, alligators in the house
ConFlikt, Judi Filksign, Tragedy at East Hill Mine
Mary Crowell, Faerieworlds, brony boys and Wicked Girls
Britain’s Talis Kimberly, Seanan’s Kellis-Amberlee
Doubleclicks! Browncoats! Cats! FuMP! Toy Boat!
Release the Cello! Sasquon! Thor! Pass another Tullamore!
We didn’t start the choir
It’s been so cathartic for the longest bardic
We didn’t start the choir
But when our turns have gone, it will still go on and on until the dawn…
“Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Vikings” – good sound advice from Joe Bethancourt, a bit late for most of the Society for Creative Anachronism crowd
from the album Sloppy Seconds
To the tune of “Bang Away, Lulu” Lyrics
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Our Saber is a Slytherin
She loves silver and green
She’s good at speaking Parseltongue
If you know what I mean
Our Saber’s quite a kinkster
They know her far and wide
She said to Westley,
“As you wish,“
Now she’s the Princess Bride!
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Our Rouge, she loves the Dresden
His books she does applaud
And if she ever met him
She’d ride his blasting rod!
Our Rouge once screwed some Trekkies
The answer to their prayers
She likes it rough, and now they know
Why Riker straddles chairs!
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Our Lucky loves Tom Hiddleston
He gives her all the feels
She thinks she’d get the best of him, but
In the end she always kneels!
Our Lucky makes cosplayers blush
With her sweet affections
Don’t flirt with her in spandex, boys;
It don’t hide erections! (That’s true!)
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Our Flint “bangs” a bit differently
She brought her gun to con
Shot off The Doctor’s stetson
While dressed up as River Song
Our Flint she once met Link, they say,
She made that hero drool
But then she left him in her dust
And went to save Hyrule!
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone? Bang Away, Maidens, by Misbehavin’ Maidens
from the album Sloppy Seconds
“I wanna make out with you at cons
Don’t wanna be your girlfriend, don’t wanna date
Just wanna make out with you when it’s convenient
When we’re cosplaying” I Wanna Make Out With You at Cons, by Misbehavin’ Maidens
from the album “Sloppy Seconds”
Traditional, rewritten by Caroline Boulden lyrics
If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to take a picture, they’re a person, not a fixture,
If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, and don’t want to cause them dismay,
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want a big embrace, get consent
If you want a big embrace, get consent
If you want a big embrace, there’s a way to close the space,
If you want a big embrace, get consent
And if they still say no, back away
If they still say no, that’s ok
If they decline your advance, it’s their body, not your chance
If they still say no, just GO AWAY CONsent, by Misbehavin’ Maidens
"I know the secret longings hidden deep within the songs you sing,
"and though I've never loved I must now for the sake of the rising Spring.
"I will fulfill your secret dream from now until the next sunrise
"if you'll consent to let me have, the fire, from your eyes."
If there’s one thing filkers can’t seem to get enough of, besides puns, it’s weird and ominous songs about musicians. “Ballade of the Blue Rose,” by Coral de Chauncey (Wendy Murphy) and Brad of Cambria (Brad Banyan), sung by Clarsa McElhaney. Lyrics and chords available here.
Submissions for the Contata 8 songbook are officially open! Got a song you want to contribute? Click here to find out where/how to submit it.
Also: this year at Contata we plan to have at least one jam session. Want to suggest a song to play? Watch this space for updates.
Please signal-boost this in your other fannish communities, or wherever else you think appropriate.
The deadline for submitting to the Contata 8 songbook is April 30! Want to have one of your songs appear in our songbook? Now’s your chance. “Um … what kind of song could I submit, if I wanted to do that?”
I’m glad you asked me that, random citizen! It’s pretty simple really: the only major requirement is that it needs to be a song you wrote. (Yes, you can submit on behalf of another songwriter, but only with their explicit permission and ideally only by their request.) “What if it isn’t a new song?”
That’s totally fine; old songs are welcome. “What if I only wrote the lyrics?”
That’s not only fine, that’s a fundamental filk subtype! Just put somewhere in your submission the name of the original tune that your lyrics are meant to be sung to, and credit the original writer. (If you mean that your song is a collaboration with somebody else, then you should submit it jointly with credit to both of you.) “What if I wrote original music for it?”
If you want to include sheet music or chord notation of any kind, and/or a link to a sound file online, that’d be great! “Does it have to be about something nerdy?”
For broad values of ‘nerdy’ and even broader values of ‘have to’, you could say that. If you’ve got any experience with filk, you may already know just how varied song topics get. (If you don’t, you may want to check out a link roundup and sampler here.) “Do I get a copy of the songbook if my song is in it?”
Why yes, you do! All Contata attendees and all songbook contributors will get a digital copy of the songbook. (Contata attendees will also have the option to buy a printed copy for $5.)
Any questions? Our inbox is always open.
Use your hooves and use your head
Don’t let down the Man in Red
“March of Cambreadth” (lyrics), by Heather Alexander, is a classic battle song about killing as many people as possible. “December of Cambreadth” (lyrics), a parody by Bob Kanefsky, is…also about maximization of output, but the similarities end there. Except that the language is, somehow, equally vicious.
(Series: Filksong Genealogy)
So there’s this lovely folk song, variously called “Farewell tae th’ Creeks” or “Banks of Sicily,” which like many folk songs has gone through a lot of different permutations. The above is a rendition by the Chad Mitchell Trio; their lyrics can be found here, while the original lyrics can be found here.
What happens when filkers get hold of something like this? Welllll … a lot of things.
Here’s “Green Hills of Harmony” (lyrics) by Al Frank, performed here by (I think) Dandelion Wine. It’s about the Dorsai, a fictional mercenary society from a science fiction book series by Gordon R. Dickson.
And here’s Frank Hayes’s parody of “Green Hills,” entitled “Don’t Ask” (lyrics). It’s … also about the Dorsai. Sort of.
And here is what may be the most recent riff on the same tune: Erin & Rand Bellavia’s Pegasus-nominated filksong “Cliffs of Insanity.”
There’s much more to the story!
(You’re right about Dandelion Wine–that’s the recording from their album “The Face on Mars.”)
See, one major reason the Dorsai are still heard of, despite the Childe Cycle books not exactly being bestsellers anymore (Dickson died in 2001 and hadn’t published a new such book in almost a decade even then), is this:
In 1973, at TorCon 2, the 31st World Science Fiction Convention in Toronto, the only security there were local rent-a-cops, who among other things didn’t get along with the fans and didn’t really work out well–notably someone walked off with a Kelly Freas original (Kelly being one of the most well known artists in fandom) by showing the art show rent-a-cop a receipt for a much cheaper piece. The guard didn’t know any better than to say “no way you paid that for this piece.”
So, the legendary Robert Asprin, SF writer, cosplayer, SCAdian, filker, and fan extraordinaire, decided Something Must Be Done. Thus, he set up a fannish group to help work conventions: Door guards, hall monitoring (for drunk fans needing help back to their rooms as well as extraction from uncomfortable come-ons), auctioneering, even operations help. He got permission from Dickson to call the group the Dorsai Irregulars, the idea being that these were the “weirdos” of the otherwise traditionally military mercenary Dorsai.
And Bob himself being one of the major filkers of his age (arguably, he brought filk out of the back rooms and into function space at conventions; he definitely assigned the filk community its signature whiskey), he got some of his filker friends to help. To this day the roster of the DI is chock-a-block with some of the leading lights and senior songsters of the filk community, including Bob and Anne Passovoy, Murray Porath, Michael “Moonwulf” Longcor, Mark Bernstein, Bill and Gretchen Roper, Bill and Brenda Sutton, Steve MacDonald, John Hall, and more I’m not going to list one by one.
