So, once upon a time I said, “If you can’t tell Captain America what you’re doing, you probably shouldn’t be doing it” and it inspired a poem by Catt Kingsgrave (aka theactualcluegirl) which eventually led to this pre-release rough-draft single, The Ballad Of Captain America’s Disapproving Face (also available for listening here on SoundCloud).
I guarantee you will never laugh this hard at any other song that opens with a riff on the Star Spangled Banner. Also there is, if I’m not mistaken, a kazoo cover of Star Spangled Man involved.
Anyhow, Murder Ballads is working on an album, and if you like the song, consider throwing a few bucks their way to help get their album made.
(The accompanying image up there is by the astonishing Frogbillgo, but is not associated officially with the album.)
comedy
You Bash the Balrog – Lee Gold
Lyrics by Lee Gold, to the tune of “Waltzing Matilda.” Sing it with friends as a fun party game.
Once a jolly Cleric, and a magic-using Elf,
And a mighty Dwarf with a sword plus three
Left their native village – out to get their share of pelf.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.
First they met a Goblin – with a fire-breathing Hound.
They bashed and they smashed and they scragged them with glee.
Afterwards they searched them – and a Magic Potion found.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.
The low Wisdom Swordsman picked it up and drank it down,
Changed to a Wolf immediately.
No one could Dispell it, so they headed back to town.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.
Then a loud voice bellowed, “Who has slain the Goblin King?”
Round turned our heroes; what did they see?
Swooping down upon them was a Balrog on the wing.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.
“Help,” screamed the Cleric; “Ditto,” yelled the Elven Mage.
The Wolf whimpered low – and he tried to flee.
The Balrog fell upon them, and his flames began to rage;
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.
They ran through the forest, looking for a place to hide,
Pursued by the Balrog, so fierce to see.
“Wait,” cried the Elf Mage; “I have got a plan,” he lied.
“You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.”
Once a mighty Balrog slew a Cleric and an Elf
And a smallish Wolf who had teeth plus three,
Skinned them and tanned their hides…and kept them on a closet shelf.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.