the misbehavin’ maidens

Slytherins are Misunderstood – Misbehavin’ Maidens

by

 

Slytherins are Misunderstood

To the tune of “Jogging”

Slytherins are evil
That’s what other houses say!
But as a Slytherin
I aim to change your view today
Slytherins aren’t terrible
We’re just misunderstood
Just because we’re little power-obsessed
Doesn’t mean we can’t be good

Chorus:

Oh Slytherin, oh Slytherin
They all think you’re bad
But a Slytherin will be the
Bestest friend you’ve ever had!

Slytherins can be so kind
They take care of their friends
They’ll find for you a meal
Cuz you “forgot your lunch again”!
They really are the sweetest
It just doesn’t always show
But don’t ask them where they got that sandwich
You don’t want to know!

Chorus

Slytherins watch out for you
They’ll make sure you’re ok!
They’ll tell your ex to [bleep] right off
And make them go away!
They’ll respect your choices
When you want to win or quit
And most of the time will manipulate you
only a little bit!

Chorus

A Slytherin will open up
If they think you’ll listen
You know they care about you
If they don’t just hold it in
Expressing their emotions
Is not their strongest trait
Unless, of course, you count the feelings
Sad, mad, fear, and hate.

Chorus

I hope I’ve helped you all to see
That Slytherins are fine!
You don’t have to reject us
You just have to have a spine!
Your Slytherin can be bad at knowing
Where some boundaries lay
That’s why we all need our Hufflepuffs
To keep us all at bay!

Chorus x2

Space Shanty – Misbehavin’ Maidens

by

To the tune of “The Mermaid”

—

It was Wednesday morn when we engaged
Boldly going places man has never known
When up on the Bridge, they spied a Romulan ship
Far away from the Neutral Zone

Chorus:

And the planets they do roll, And the distant stars they glow
And we poor Ensigns are running round the ship
While civilians they lie down below (below, below)
While civilians they lie down below

Up spoke Number One of the Enterprise
And he was a handsome bearded man
He straddled a chair with his very long legs
And said, “Captain do we have a plan?”

Chorus

Up spoke the Captain of the Enterprise
And a well-spoken man was he
“I don’t want to tangle with the Romulans,
I would rather drink my hot Earl Grey tea!”

Chorus

Up spoke the doctor of the Enterprise
She was a strong willed woman in blue
She said, “Captain come on, you have to run this ship
All the crew is depending on you!”

Chorus

Up spoke Lt. Commander of the Enterprise
And a curious android was he
“Can someone please explain why this Romulan ship
Has decided to break the treaty?”

Chorus

Up spoke the pilot of the Enterprise
And a nerdy little genius was he
He said, “I think that we should…”
“Shut up Wesley!!”

Chorus

Up spoke the engineer of the Enterprise
And his visor was really high-tech
“I hope that this conflict doesn’t take that long
I’ve a date waiting on the holodeck.”

Chorus

Up spoke the counselor of the Enterprise
And a very pretty empath was she
“There’s a Romulan vessel outside of this ship
And I sense the Romulans are angry”

Chorus

Up spoke Security on the Enterprise
And a very moody Klingon was he
He said–
“Klingons do not sing space shanties.”

Chorus X2

Dumb Ways to Con – Misbehavin’ Maidens

by

Dumb Ways to Con

To the tune of Metro Train Melbourne’s “Dumb Ways to Die”

—

Stop for pictures at the top of the stairs,
Try to lick all of the vendor wares
Rush a panel room when you’re told to wait,
Tell a Xenomorph you wanna procreate

Chorus:

Dumb ways to con,
So many dumb ways to con,
Dumb ways to co-o-on,
So many dumb ways to con

Keep a Tribble as a pet,
Sell a vial of Chris Evans’ sweat,
Enter the Pokemon tourny with all bidoof,
Do a barrel roll off the hotel roof

Chorus

Challenge a Wookiee to a fight,
Smoke a cigarette and set your wig alight
Go to the LARP with a sharpened sword
Throw some chimichangas at a Deadpool horde

Chorus

Yell spoilers at the Game of Thrones shoot,
Tell an Alucard his Carmen Sandiego’s cute,
Go to the rave when you’re feeling faint
Hug somebody while in unsealed body paint

Chorus

Agree to a group skit without committing…
Watch all of Evangelion in one sitting…
Go all weekend without taking a shower,
Chug energy drinks and just live in the game room
Blow your money on swag and forget food’s important,
They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly

The dumbest ways to con,
The dumbest ways to con,
Dumb ways to con-o-oooooonnn…
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to con….